Which Kind of Pandemic Writer are You?

Hello, fellow writers! Please forgive me; it’s been I-have-no-idea-how-long since my last post (which I also began with a line like this).

I have many writer friends, and the dichotomy of their social media posts has been extreme. Half of them are posting updates like:

“I wrote the equivalent of War and Peace, organized my studio, and delivered food to the homeless. After lunch, I configured all the necessary shortcuts on my keyboard. I’m sitting here in my Zen chair at my altar with this lovely glass of wine to relax for a moment before I go online live, teaching a free class on “Character Dialogue” (if any of you are interested, follow this link). Would anyone like to be a beta-reader for two of my books (“Ayurvedic Medicine” and “Anyone Can Be MacGuyver”)?
What are you up to today?”

The other half are posting updates like:

“I got off the couch today. (Daily word count: 6)”

This whole ‘situation’ (shitshow, really) seems to have had that divisive effect on the writing community. It’s affected every single person in the world differently, but now I’m just talking about writers. We are either super-productive or slugs, with no in-between. Have you noticed that about yourself? Which are you?

I’m both – and there is still no in-between. Which side I’m on depends on the day; I’m either a writing machine or lump on the couch. I can’t honestly say that I haven’t written much here because I was busy writing elsewhere, because that would only be true sometimes. Sometimes, I was just decorating my bed.

Anyone else like that?

Last month, I edited a book in a week. I did nothing else that week. Then I made up for it by doing nothing at all the following week.

This month, I’ve been working with another writer. For three hours a day maybe three or four days a week, we are editing her book together, chapter by chapter. On some days, that motivates me to stay at the computer and write my own stuff; other days … that’s enough writing for today.

When the rhythm is there, it’s there. When it’s not, it’s just not. I love that and hate it.

Two weeks ago I created a journal and published it on Amazon. I can’t really say I wrote a journal, can I? It’s all blank places for someone else to write. But it was all formatting and designing and did take time. (Those of you who’ve published with KDP can understand the formatting issues I may have come up against.) And it was a creative idea that I acted on. So, it counts, right?

Basically it’s a time capsule kind of journal, specifically for this year 2020, (this whole shitshow) with prompts and list ideas all relating to keeping track and writing about what we are going through individually.

For all my not writing too much here, I have been pushing others to write about any and all experiences during this time. We have the opportunity to write history, people! In real time! So that 200 years down the line, not one person will be able to say that the history they are being taught is not factual or incomplete!

I’ll get off the soapbox now.

Anyway, a writer friend of mine made a big deal about my publishing this journal so soon after publishing my book book (in November). She posted a great review with the line:

“I’m ordering today, once I get over my jealousy that she thought up such a genius book AND made it available so soon.”

Yes, my peacock feathers absolutely blossomed at the first half of the sentence – and I completely deflated at the last.

“… made it availabe so soon.”

I didn’t, really, and I know it. Do you want to know when I came up with the idea, the whole, complete, done-in-my-head idea? March 23, the day after I got fired. Three months ago! I had an idea for something that I knew would only be relevant for a short period of time and didn’t act on it for three months? It wasn’t until it nagged at me enough while I was slugging about that I finally got off of my ass and did it. I’m lucky that people are still showing interest in it, it’s out so much later than it should have been!

So now I can’t even celebrate that accomplishment as ‘something I did’ because all I think about is that it was ‘something I should have done‘. If I’d been fully-functional, and not the half-sloth (probably closer to 3/4), how much more could I have done?

Of course, I have to stop beating myself up. I have to acknowledge my depression (and stop beating myself up for that, too).

I think I mentioned once before here that I was going to make some kind of schedule, some kind of time management grid that (if I followed it) would have specific chunks of time devoted to the different writing projects – and I could be timely and consistent. Obviously, by the fact that I said I may have mentioned this before, this is yet another example of an older thought I haven’t acted on.

I’m aware I make excuses. One of my favorites is the fact that the world situation keeps changing and therefore schedules keep changing. What will happen to that awesome schedule if/when I have to go back to work outside of the house? Now, I sound like my kids: why bother, if it’s going to change? Oy.

The writing is already on the wall (pun intended) for today. I’ve already worked a bit with my friend, and now I’ve done this.

That’s enough writing for today.

Maybe it won’t be. I can only hope.

“What are you up to today?”

I Had to Force Myself to Write Today

Strange times indeed, eh?

When this shutting in/physical distancing/isolation set in, I was still working. To be honest, I was almost resenting the new ‘time’ other people had to stay at home because I was thinking that this would be a novel (pun intended) time to be able to write.

No. I’m not one of those who can afford to stay home, and being forced to would definitely fuck me financially – but it wasn’t like I wasn’t already in that position. I left a job last September under surprising and depressing circumstances. The job I’d been most previously working was the job-I-took-to-still-be-working, the first job I was offered within three days of not working, the job I had to take to bring at least some income in while I looked for a job I could live (or at least survive ) off of – and all that means is that I took an easy, local, and low-paying job.

The circumstances under leaving the previous job were depressing enough, and I’d already admitted to being depressed, anyway. But this newer job made it all even worse. The job market isn’t (or wasn’t) what everyone said it was, unless they were talking about only the jobs that most people would be taking at the beginning of their working careers or as side jobs to supplement incomes. The ‘newer’ way of finding jobs online is time-consuming – the application processes alone could take weeks, and potential employers could take their time in responding. It took me four months between my initial application and the official rejection for one job (which included having to fill out the application, a later essay, two separate-and-weeks-apart questionnaires, a phone interview (with a recording), and a final full-day ‘presentation’ interview with over 100 other candidates (no parking on the facility) and sit-down ‘interview’ at a table with 4 other applicants) – and that was just one of the many I’ve applied for. With that type of ‘job market’ most of us could become homeless if we did not work while we were looking for a job.

That resentment I mentioned earlier stemmed from my reaching that point where I had to choose which need was more dire to me: time or money. If I was in a job that didn’t help me financially anway but took all of my time, why not be allowed more time if my finances would basically be the same? With more time, I could be more productive; I could spend more time looking for another job and have time to write – both of which could potentially better affect my financial situation.

And then I got the time, when I was let go. Okay, I was fired. That was actually hilarious to me for so many reasons, not the least of which was that I’m a 52-year-old single, female parent who knows how not to get fired – we will put up with a lot of bullshit at a job just to keep a job because of our responsibilities.

My former boss did me a favor, though. He gave me that time I wanted.

And I took it. My first two weeks at home were so productive I should have been wearing a cape – I was that productive.

And then I hit a wall. The elation I felt at getting out of that job situation could be compared to a caffeine or sugar high – there is a crash when it’s over. My relief at being out of that stressed environment was short-lived, because it was only one of my problems – just the one that was affecting me most directly at the time.

I’ve said it before: needs, priorities, wants, and goals are the same things; the only differences are in their level of importance. That is why you are told you have to ‘want it enough’ when you are looking to achieve something. That is also why necessity became the mother of invention.

But the bottom line of any achievement is that none of us rest on our laurels afterwards; we either look for another goal or find another fire to put out.

The world situation, the pandemic, and the isolation enforced has changed the job market again – or is changing it, making a job search rather … off? unpredictable? … futile? Unless you got one of the enviable jobs working from home, would you want to get a job being out in the general public when we are being told globally that physical distancing is what is needed right now? Would you trust an employer who made that choice, who determined who is ‘essential’ based on the needs of his or her company – even if you understood his or her own level of need?

When you are depressed, you need a goal or something to look forward to. The uncertainty of what the future holds has been exacerbated because, right now, everyone is flying blind. The time that I was excited to have to be able to look for a job and write more was now filled with … nothing. I was having trouble being motivated to do anything – which added to more of depression’s self-loathing.

I decided to coddle myself a bit. To ‘suggest’ to myself to accomplish one thing without force – and to make sure I didn’t beat myself up if I didn’t. To pat myself on the back for what I did do – even if it was just getting out of bed. Two days into that I had to justify my own treatment of myself with myself – because I was not brought up that way: you DID WHAT YOU HAD TO DO. Suck it up, cupcake.

While depression is common, acceptance of it isn’t. Here I was, dealing with the most severe level of it in my life and I was finding myself to be just as judgmental and punishing as those I’ve said didn’t accept it.

The better side of me won the argument after another two days. I’m human, and I am not accepting myself to be less of anything by admitting I have a problem.

I went back to my coddling of myself – and then I changed the word ‘coddling’ to ‘supporting’ when I realized that that word choice showed my lower opinion of myself early on.

I didn’t move mountains, but I started doing more and being able to do more. One day, I was putzing around doing little things in the house, and all of a sudden I was motivated to finish something – it just sort of happend organically. I was so pleased I almost took a nap!

Since then, it’s been the baby steps, the one day at a time. The continuously reminding myself that even if the future is uncertain, I still have the right now.

Today is Sunday. For some reason, Sunday mornings became my favorite writing time – which was always funny to me because I usually worked weekends. I had no intention of writing today (I’m still working on my intentions), but because of my recent breakthrough I was able to ‘suggest’ to myself that I sit down and write, since it ‘is Sunday, after all’.

And here I am. (Yay, me!) Even if this wasn’t a Pulitzer prize-winning piece, it was still something I wrote. And I discovered (in my ‘support’ of myself) that what had been an annoying trait of getting off-topic while I write is instead the gentle tapping on my shoulder of the muses with suggestions of other topics to write about (Inspiration).

I used to tell my drill-instructor father that raising kids is not about breaking them down, but encouraging them. As much as I knew that, I apparently didn’t know that in practical terms. It seems that I am learning another lesson in practicing what I’ve preached.

I began writing again, I accepted something about my writing habits, and I learned something.

That’s three things I did today.

Yay, Me!

Write On, Writer

• 

A Small Part of What We Are All Going Through

Yesterday was supposed to have been my big book signing event at my hometown bookstore. Of course, I had to cancel it for pandemic reasons.

I had been looking forward to it so much, and I waited until the absolute last minute to make the cancellation official.

What was funny was that I didn’t feel as bad after I canceled it as I had before, when I was getting ready to. All the work that I put into the preparation, the time, the money (not that it was a lot, but enough that I’ll be wishing I hadn’t). These are trying times for all of us; not just me. But it is still funny, weird, and surreal, this almost peace I’m feeling about it.

It is what it is.

I decided to do an online book giveaway since I have a stash of them at home now. That was definitely an experience! I was going to make a YouTube video and post it across my social media platforms. No problem, right? Anyone can make a video!

Six hours later …

I had a 6-minute video for YouTube that passed my “It’s gotta be great!” “It’s gotta be good!” “It’s gotta be okay!” “It’s gotta be done!” level of expectation, and two hours’ worth of bloopers – and they weren’t all caused by my cats. You know what they say about ‘best laid plans’!

It was definitely a learning experience. I am such an amateur!

But I will improve on all of it, my basic video skills, my speaking, my speaking ‘habits’… etc.

Tha hair looked good, though.

For your amusement, possible interest, and a practical demonstration of many what-not-to-dos, you can watch the video here.

I hope you all are well.

Keep writing. I can’t say that enough.

 

 

You Never Forget Your First Bookstore

I was 5 when I moved to Taunton and 8 when Readmore Bookstore came to town.

It was 1975 and schools didn’t just have ‘Suggested Reading Lists’ – they had ‘Read-a-thons’! Every time I heard of one coming up I was all Disaster-girl-Zoe-Roth just thinking about what I was going to do to my competition – and then I would plan a trip to Readmore.

There were different plans for those trips to Readmore over the years. My best friend Donna and I would rush over as soon as we finished book whatever in the Trixie Belden series for the next one (we shared those books; whichever one of us had the money paid for it). This was after the Nancy Drew book phase (and after we got our fixes of that on Sunday nights with The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries on television — oooh, Shaun Cassidy!)

Readmore has a buyback policy, where you can sell your books back for 10% store credit of the cover price. I was a book hoarder, so choosing which ones to let go of took a day or two. I also loved how my bookshelves looked with series collections on them; the uniform colors and sizes were so pretty to me (yes, I LOVED Encyclopedia Britannica, too), so I couldn’t get rid of any of them until I was done done. I’m the type of reader that will also read a book (or the end, or selected parts) over and over. I didn’t get rid of any of the Trixie Belden books until I fully outgrew them, which means I brought all of them in at once – that was a banner day, bringing in so many at once! My store credit was always used immediately, and if there was any left over because I couldn’t squeeze one more book out of it, I would keep the remainder receipt in a special place until the next time (losing one was a catastrophic event).

School-recommended reading lists were longer back in those days; I remember writing more than one book report before school started. Those were the best trips to Readmore – we had to get books for school, so my parents had to pay!

And Readmore was there for me through every stage of my reading growth, and therefore my entire childhood. From Trixie Beldon to Judy Blume, up to general Harlequin then Silhouette Romance books to dedicated romance authors like Janet Dailey, Jude Deveraux, and Kathleen E. Woodiwiss, and then Erma Bombeck on to Stephen King and Sidney Sheldon.

And now, 45 years later, I wrote my own book.

And on Saturday, March 21, 2020, from 2:00 – 4:00 pm, I will be back at Readmore for my very own book signing event.

It’s like going home.

****
(Photo credit: Kerry Akashian)

Readmore Books
330 Winthrop Street
Taunton, MA 02780
(508) 822-3074

Book: “ISSUES: The Opposite of Everything I Was Taught“

Synopsis

Most of our unhappiness or general dissatisfaction with life comes from not living as who we are and instead trying to live as who we were told to be. Before you can live genuinely, you need to know how you think.

This is a book of perspectives that challenge you to think about whether or not you think for yourself, using the author’s own thoughts and experiences as something to reflect off of. Given the author’s proclivity for taking perspectives to the extreme, it is like standing before a fun-house mirror and realizing who you are by seeing who you are not.

In each essay, Sue Roulusonis will deliberately push your buttons on subjects like self-awareness and judgment, religion and sex, self-love and parenting. At no point anywhere in this book will you find cooking tips.

My First Radio Interview as an Author (After)

I did it! I had my first radio interview ‘as an author’!

First of all, does anyone know how to start your own radio show on the same budget you can self-publish on? What fun I had! (And I didn’t swear once, Mom!)

Blogs are pretty forgiving, right? I’m rushing this one because I was so excited to post the update – but I have to get ready for work!

I think it went pretty well, for my first time. Of course, already knowing Morgan and having a repartee with him helped, but I was super-conscious that I was there to promote my book and not just shoot the shit.

One thing to remember about radio is it’s really short time. Morgan’s show takes regular commercial, news and weather breaks, and because of the way people pop in, you are constantly repeating who you are and why you are there. I have to work on my ‘recap’. I’d forget little things (like the time of my book signing that I was promoting).

Another radio ‘thing’ is that if you are unknown and tell people to buy your book on Amazon, they are going to wade through many similarly-titled books until they find yours, so you have to come up with an easy way for them to find you. I’m screwed in the name department: my last name is Roulusonis. Tell that to someone on the air who wants to look you up!

I did have a friend listen in who gave me a few pointers about telling a few personal anecdotes about myself. Maybe next time I’m on, people who have read the book will call in!

One other pointer: if you have someone there taking pictures for you, make sure they use your phone or camera! We got back at about 2:30 am and I only got two pictures that were taken!

All in all, what a great experience!

And I totally rocked the headphones!

But I’ll do even better the next time (and I’m grateful for that, too)! My next interview date is March 21, 12 am – 1am.

 

 

 

WBZ Radio Boston: https://wbznewsradio.iheart.com/ 

The Morgan Show with Morgan White, Jr.

The book: ISSUES: The Opposite of Everything I was Taught

Book Signing Event:
Readmore Bookstore, 330 Winthrop Street, Taunton, MA 02780
March 21, 2020  2:00 – 4:00 pm

My First Radio Interview as an Author (Before)

Tonight, I will be a guest on The Morgan Show on WBZ News Radio to talk about my book, “ISSUES: The Opposite of Everything I Was Taught“.  This will be my first radio interview of this kind.

I’m very lucky, because I’ve known Morgan for 30 years; I honestly don’t know how I would have landed an opportunity like this on my own as an independent author learning the business of book promotion at the same time I’m promoting my book.

Still, the fact that he’s a friend of mine doesn’t mean that I’m taking this lightly. His show reaches 38 states –

38 states!  –

and I’m not going to be on as just a caller. I want to put my best Professional Author foot forward.

This was only just scheduled last night (we waited until I had a date for a bookstore book signing event – and I just got it yesterday), so you can imagine how ill-prepared I feel.

I’ve already done work on putting together a media press kit (yes, I wrote the book and published it before I did any pre-promotion work) – I’m even preparing to take pictures tonight to add to it – but I’m going to be facing Morgan wearing a different hat. He knows flighty, snarky, opinionated, too-talkative, and sometimes insane Susie quite well; but it’s Sue the Author that needs to be there tonight. Sue, who is able to convey what her book is about and why it’s relevant. Without using some of the words in her book, and without going off on many tangents (or at least limiting the number of different directions).

I wish I didn’t have to work today so that I could allow myself more time to prepare (by prepare, I mean google again every aspect about author self-promotion, get quite overwhelmed, then take a nap) – or at least do my hair. You know how important that is for radio.

Morgan’s talk show is late night; I’ll be on from midnight to 1:00 am EST.  I’ll actually be doing another one the eve before my book signing; hopefully, I’ll do better then – but I’m hoping to be ‘not bad’ tonight. If any of you happen to listen in and have any suggestions, I’ll take them here.  If’I’m totally sinking and you feel bad for me, you can even call in to the live show and try to rein me in!

Tune in tomorrow for the “After” update!

(Wish me luck!)

 

WBZ Radio Boston: https://wbznewsradio.iheart.com/

Book Signing Event:
Readmore Bookstore, 330 Winthrop Street, Taunton, MA 02780
March 21, 2020  2:00 – 4:00 pm

 

 

Handling Twitter

Okay, I’m working on my time management regarding all of the bullshit an independent author needs to handle – primarily, social media for non-fun marketing and networking.

I’ve already covered that I hate the follow-for-follow game. It’s really pointless because you end up with followers in the same boat as you, and other than being able to offer words of encouragement, they will not broaden a network that suits you. (Unless, of course, you are in that sweet spot where your follower numbers affect whether or not you are ‘chosen’ and you have enough followers to make a difference – and if you do, you are probably not playing the game.) And then, you complain that you have all these followers that you don’t know or don’t talk to. What?

I follow someone I find interesting. I comment on posts I find interesting, and try to make posts that if they are found someone else will comment. I try to make real connections. Call me silly, but I do believe that will make a difference.

Anyhoo, I’d been playing around with the idea that I should give each platform a spot on a schedule. It looks like Sunday mornings before work is a fun time to scroll through Twitter and see what’s out there, because it’s not enough time to sit down and write (remember, too, I hate my writing being interrupted by work).

Today was my first official Twitter Day. I started late, because something in me felt motivated and I washed dishes (Yay, me!).

I even got a thought of something I wanted to write about – with the specific wording – and typed it all out!

I did my routine of checking Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. It was then I decided to give each one its own time slot (except Facebook; I still use that mostly for fun).

I saw that I was followed by someone whose comment I liked. I scrolled through that person’s page and saw a lot I liked and connected with, so I followed back.

And then I got a DM ad from that person, a thank-you-for-the-follow-check-out-my-new-book.

Sigh.

So, I sent back an “I will if you will” message with an ad for my own new book.

I will make Twitter work for me.

On Sunday mornings.

 

Life’s Little Surprises

I didn’t expect to be writing here so soon, but a little happy event prompted this. I’ll admit, it could be my ego feeling the need for a follow-up so soon after a public declaration of depression – I have a hard time sometimes, admitting my ‘human-ness’. It must be the man in me. 😀

Yesterday was my day off from work, but because I work for one of the few places that does not participate in direct deposit I have to go in for my paycheck. When I got there I found a duffle bag with my name on it and a note that said simply “From a customer”.

The bag was full of books – and not just any books, but books that pertain to me and my writing! Each book I pulled out was a book that had appeal to me, or some correlation to what I write about.

Without knowing at first who left it for me, I knew that this was one of the most thoughtful gifts I’d ever received – if it had come from a romantic interest, I would’ve considered it a marriage proposal. Have you ever had a batch of books curated especially for you? It would have to be from someone who understands you, who listens when you speak …

I did figure out who it was from.

I met a man and woman who come into my store, separately – they never come in together. Over the past 6 months I’ve been working at the store, I’ve developed a sort of friendship with them. We bonded over books and writing, and they were very interested in what I was writing about and asked how to get a copy of my book.

I found out later they were married to each other, and that they are reading (and enjoying) my book, together.

I can’t ignore how much wonderful-ness is in this little event: a surprise gift, a surprise thoughtful gift, validation as an author, connection, acknowledgment … and the little lift I get when I realize a married couple is reading my book (that’s the ego speaking; I’ve been accused of being a raging feminist who is against marriage). and the two of them, reading – and enjoying, as they said – my book together, makes me so happy.

They left the books for me.

And all of this came from the job I resent so much.

Isn’t that a kick in the ass?

 

Getting Back in the Saddle

Forgive me, Susie, it’s been – hold on while I check – 19 days since my last post. I wasn’t planning on writing here daily, but I think my original goal was at least once every two weeks.

The whys of a period of not writing for me never have the reason of “nothing to say” and almost always rely on outside circumstances. This is not my first blog; I’m now writing  3 separate ones (sorted by topic, somewhat). With the first blog – or the first time I tried to start one – my issue for delay was fear, plain and simple. Why do it? Who’s going to read it? Will I be taken seriously? I pushed myself into doing it. It took 3 separate starts before it ‘took’.  Then when I got into it and got a modest (very modest) following, it got easier – as in, less fearful.

*One thing I learned about fear in writing, as far as it goes for me, is that when I notice I’m most afraid to hit the publish button is the time that I have to. It’s a sign to me that what I wrote was my most genuine.

I think we tend to start new things when we realize we are in times of transition, and then later realize that it might have been better to have waited til the end of the transitional period to start something. Routine anything is hard to maintain when everything seems to be changing.

My original blog (the one that stuck) was put aside temporarily while I finished my book; I wanted to make sure I wasn’t writing the same things in both the book and the blog. Plus, those last few ‘hours’ of the rewrites and edits take an exhausting amount of time, and like most writers I have a day job that I can’t yet quit.

The next ‘blog interruption’ came in the form of marketing said book. All of my ‘free’ time was spent on getting the word out, contacting independent book stores (and visiting independent bookstores when I was able to put aside some money to buy a significant stash of books to deliver), tweaking all of my social media accounts to allow for promoting and selling, and then wasting time grumbling about how much more work it was to promote a book than to write it.

It was that grumbling period, though, that prompted this particular blog. I wanted to write about writing. I see many other people blogging about how to write, sell, promote (and I thank every one of them for their time and valuable information), but that wasn’t what I wanted to do; I wanted to focus on the life of a writer, my life as a writer-with-a-day-job, because I know my experiences are not isolated. All of us writers (those of us who are not yet fortunate enough to just be the writers we know we are) experience so many of the same issues regarding familial and friend support (or non-support), being taken seriously enough to be ‘allowed’ the time to write by our immediate circles – even my cats think they can dictate whether or not it’s time for me to write, dealing with insecurity and sense of worth regarding our work, managing our time to be able to write, and learning the steps of self-promotion (and all the new insecurity that gets dredged up with that).

Right now (obviously), my issue is with time management. I’ll be honest, right now this period of transition (and I have to force myself to look at it that way to make myself understand it is temporary) is especially difficult for me; I’ve been forced to realize and admit that I’m dealing with a depression I’ve never sunk to the depths of before. I may write more about that later, but for right now I’ll say that depression is a knock-out punch to motivation. I want to write, but sometimes can’t even work myself up into enough enthusiasm to sit my ass at the computer.

Another silly deterrent of mine isn’t time so much as enough time. Part of my previously mentioned ‘condition’ is a strong resentment (best I could say) to my job. Nothing frustrates me more than being at my computer and writing (happily writing) and having to stop because I have to go to work. We all have peeves with normal interruptions, I know, but I realized sometimes I would just rather not write than deal with the total frustration of that kind of interruption because I would go to work more resentful than I already was.

Yeah, I’m working on that.

There’s also an odd dichotomy at work for me, too. I’m promoting a book that I am actually very enthusiastic about and proud of. Sometimes I feel like I’m two people: on one side, I’m the sassy, opinionated female and writer I want to be – or know I am;  and then there’s the other side: the depressed, under-employed (overworked), menopausal, and trapped slug.

In a clearer moment, like right now, I can see a little benefit in the lessons I’m learning about time, change (which I’ve actually always been a big fan of), and synchronicity. It’s the synchronicity and small serendipitous ‘coincidences’ (and I don’t believe in coincidence) that I’m so happy I still have my wits about me to notice.

My first ex used to call me a “Fucking Cheerleader” – and he never meant that in a good way. Since I do believe negativity is a choice of focus, I can see how annoying I would be to someone who wants to believe that the world is a terrible place and that life is supposed to be hard. I can even see how annoying it is for me when that inner cheerleader shoves those fucking pom-poms in my own face when I want to wallow.

She is here with me now, and I’m letting her sit next to me for now. And I’m writing.

And I’m going to hit the ‘publish’ button in a few minutes, even though my original plan was to write about the ideas I came up with to ‘help manage writing time during changing times’ and I never got to that.

Because, at least, I’m back in the saddle.

Rah-Rah-Rah!